


hotel confidential

by Nemotaco



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Miscommunication, Phan - Freeform, anxiety mentions, interactive introverts, phils an asshole im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 22:37:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17775521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nemotaco/pseuds/Nemotaco
Summary: dan wasn't having a good day in the first place, what he didn't know was it was about to get a lot worse.





	hotel confidential

**Author's Note:**

> this is something i wrote during the tour that i absolutely hated but it's 3000 words so i thought i'd just dump it here, it's not edited at all so i'm sorry for any mistakes!

It was least to at Dan wasn’t having a good day. 

They had two shows today, and Dan had started his morning off my spilling his scalding hot coffee down his favorite white sweater, and he’d like to believe that if he was at home he wouldn’t take it personally, but he wasn’t home. He was a 10 hour plane ride away to be exact. So he gave himself the pass to freak out by himself alone in his hotel room, which was way too big for just one person he had first pointed out when he walked in last night. 

Dan had cried, that sweater was over £300 and even if his account could afford another one, it wasn’t the same. He cried as he stepped in the shower to clean off the horrible residue of the coffee that had stained its way through the shirt. ’And too believe it’s only 8am’ he had muttered to himself. Today was going to be a long day. 

10am rolled around and Dan was sort of doing better, he had changed his entire outfit because of the whole ordeal with the sweater that he had yet to tell Phil about. In fact, throughout the hour that they’ve seen each other Phil has only mumbled a solid 10 words to him. This wasn’t too unusual but over the course of the tour they’ve grown closer and more annoying. 

“It reminds me of home.” Phil had said one evening, they were playing cards in his hotel room and had been so obnoxious to the point that a hotel worker personally came to their door and practically told them if they didn’t shut up they would have to leave. Dan mentally smiles at that moment and turns his head to glance at Phil, who was currently across from him sitting on a small couch as they waited for their first meet & greet to begin. 

Phil’s head is tilted down and he’s furiously typing at his phone, Dan could tell that he has dark rings around his eyes and automatically hopes that Phil has gotten a decent sleep last night. He hops up from the chair and falls into the couch that Phil was currently sat on.

“Hi.” No answer. 

“Hi?” Still nothing, Phil still hadn’t looked up from his phone.

“Phillllll I want attention.” He pouts and pokes Phil’s cheek. Phil looks up from his phone finally, with nothing but a blank stare.

“What?” He asks bluntly.

“Um, I was just asking if you’re excited?” Dan felt pretty taken back from the tone that Phil used, he doesn’t like this at all.

“Excited about what?” His head tilts to the side. 

“The meet and greet?”

“Yeah I guess.” And his head hangs low again. 

Phil’s had his grumpy days, sure; but he’s never been outright this rude to Dan. Throughout the years the elder had learned to not be blunt to Dan as he’s not the toughest guy out there. He’d never do this.

‘But he is.’ Dan’s brain blurts out. He feels the panic starting to bubble. 

Then there’s a knock on the door. Marianne always saves the day. “Time to rock and roll boys!” She holds the door open as they grab everything they need and proceed to get ushered to the room. 

The meet and greet was going off without a hitch and Phil somehow musters back to the energetic personality that everyone loves. Dan thought he had been doing a good job. Until around half-way when a tall brunette comes around the corner. She seems very polite and respectful as she talks to them, and as they take photos she goes the extra mile to make sure that she is a comfortable space away from them. Mumbling that she didn’t want to ‘make you guys uncomfy’ Dan chuckles and Phil just ignores the comment and his instinct is to frown towards Phil. 

“Are you okay Dan?” The girl asks. 

“Oh! Yes I’m fine, just a bit tired this morning.” He mentally tells himself to lighten up or else he’ll ruin everyone’s experience. 

“Okay; sorry for asking, just wanted to sure! Good luck on the show guys I’m so excited to see it!” She smiles widely at them and as she turned to leave Dan just pulled her into a tight hug, and Dan could see Phil’s questioning stare as the girl turned to hug Phil but he ignored it, staring straight at the ground. As the girl left he made sure to thank her and to enjoy the show.

“She was lovely.” Dan comments to Phil. 

“I thought dating fans wasn’t a thing for you.” Phil snaps back and Dan wants to cry there on the spot.

“I didn’t mean it like that she was j-“ He stops abruptly as another fan comes around the corner. 

As they settle in their respective spots in the dressing room after the matinee show, Dan’s head is still a mess. Phil still hasn’t apologized for anything or in fact even talked to him. In Dan’s defense, that girl was genuinely nice, she was respectful and went out of her way to ask if he was okay; something Phil was supposed to do, Dan would never think of a fan romantically and Phil knew that. Fuck sakes Phil even knew that Dan was completely gay for that matter. 

Dan opened his laptop as he chugged his bottle of water. This was a routine for them after a matinee show, they’d just relax and browse until they’d go out to eat, Dan makes a point that usually they’d be having a banter or two but instead he was left with a silent room with one-sided tension.

As he was scrolling through his twitter he found himself looking at all the photos that the fans had posted from the earlier meet & greet. He had learned to remember every single experience and they all come back just by looking at the different posts. He was just about to finish up when he noticed a familiar face, he stopped at the post and looked at the photos. It was the girl again, and her display name was simply Danielle ♡ and the caption had read. 

“Today was a success! I finally had the opportunity to meet the people that have helped me through my hardest times. Thank you.” 

Dan found himself smiling as he liked the photo, such a kind girl with a kind heart he thought. That smile was dropped though, as he felt the breath of Phil beside his ear as he spoke.

“I thought you said it wasn’t like that.” Phil had said, and he still managed to have that empty, toneless voice from this morning.

“It’s not. Seriously Phil, she was really kind it all. I’ve liked some other posts too I’m not favortising anyone. What’s up with you man?” Dan makes that last sentence a bit more gentle and genuine. All Phil had to say was a grunt as he pulled himself back to the other side of the couch and went back to browsing his own laptop.

“So… You’re just not going to answer?” 

He’s left with silence. Long day indeed. 

— 

The evening m&g and show go fine, Dan has messed up a few queues during the show which earned him a few ugly glares from Phil but other than that he is 100% sure they had managed to cover up Phil's 24 hour tantrum. 

They were on their way to a different city now, and they wouldn’t be reaching their hotel rooms until a little after two am. Dan and Phil both resorted to their sides of the car as they sat in the back, Marianne and their driver were having a very strong conversation and Dan just wishes that was him and Phil. Instead he was left with the sound of the rain hitting the window he was currently leaning his head against and Phil’s fingers tapping his phone screen. 

He had one airpod in and made sure it was facing the window so he could make sure Phil knew he could talk to him if he needed. His music wasn’t too loud, it was just a gentle caress of perfume genius in half his head. 

“Marianne? How long until we get there?” Phil asks as she and the driver make a pause in their conversation. 

‘How polite of him.’ Dan musters to himself.

“Only 30 minutes left love, is Dan asleep? you guys seem quiet tonight.”

Dan doesn’t say anything, but he sees Phil’s head turn his way to stare at him. 

“He’s asleep. Long day I guess.” Phil comments as they make contact. Why would Phil lie? Dan’s just about to say or even do something while he has Phil’s attention finally but Phil decides to huff and break the silence, leaning his own head against the window so they’re almost parallel from each other. The only difference is Phil’s arm is stretched out almost to the middle seat. 

Dan’s first instinct is to grab his hand, of course, but he didn’t want to make the wrong move so he must tentatively moved his hand closer and closer to the others hand until the tips of his fingers ever so lightly brushes against Phil’s pinky. He stops for a second, waiting to see if Phil would retract but after a few moments of silence, he continued. 

He was looking out the window now, making sure to not look the other way in case he’d scare the other. His fingers make it to the top of Phil’s hand before he feels he hand below him flip so they could link hands. Then there’s a squeeze. He returns it and makes a daring glance to Phil and his eyebrows rise as he realizes that the other isn’t looking at the linked hands either. He quickly whips his head back and he feels a blush rising in him. Dan could start to feel hope rising in his mind, everything will be fine. It was just a hiccup. Right? 

They hold hands the rest of the way to the hotel, and only depart due to the fact that they had to get out of the car and go into the lobby. Marianne had already been checking in with the front desk so they both sat down on the couch in the lobby, a safe distance away from each other still. Phil immediately went on his phone and Dan’s honestly don’t surprised at this point. Instead of going on his he makes up conversations that they would be having rather than this.

Marianne finishes a few minutes later and walks towards them. Dan’s ready to grab his room card and run and forget about this whole day. However Marianne seems to have that look on her face that Dan had grown to hate.

“Bad news boys, due to a complication there’s only one room for you guys.” 

“Oh, no that’s fine! I thought you were going to say we wouldn’t be able to st-“ Dan starts but Phil cuts him off. 

“Seriously?” Is all he says.

Marianne looks at Phil and then at Dan and it’s almost like she can read the whole situation between them. Dan can feel the heat in his cheeks and hopes it will stay unnoticed. 

“Yes love, I’m sorry. It’s only for one night though I’m sure you’ll manage. Here you go, I’ll see you down here at noon. Goodnight.” Marianne smiles and turns around to make a quick escape. 

Dan turns to look at Phil but he’s already heading towards the elevator, obviously disgruntled. Dan should feel offended, but at this point he’s used to this. The lift to the floor was spent with an awkward distance between them, and if any fan ran into them they’d think that their friendship was a facade and they secretly hated each other. Which for the most part was true, maybe just one sided. 

As they stand in front of their room Dan feels panicked as he can’t find his card in his pockets. He looks lowly at Phil and for a second he can see the sense of pity in Phil’s eyes but they quickly go back to the empty glare. It’s a defensive stare and Dan’s afraid to look away.

“Are you going to move so I can let us in? Or…” Phil comments and Dan jerks back suddenly as he gives room for Phil to open the door.

“Sorry Phil…” 

“Yeah whatever.” Phil grunts as he flicks the light on and they both gasp.

One bed. One double fucking bed. Marianne never mentioned that. 

“No fucking way.” Phil mumbled as he angrily threw his suitcase by the desk and made his way to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

And for the second time today, Dan was alone. 

For the second time today; he cried.

He curled up on the left side of the bed and cried his heart out, making sure to muffle his cries with the hotel pillow that was already on the bed. Phil hated him for whatever reason and watching him be psychically disgusted with the fact that he had to share a bed with his best friend for the past 10 years only made him sob louder. 

He could hear the shower turn on and he gave himself permission to let himself wail. He’s never cried this hard in his life. He never thought he’d watch the best thing in his life turn against him with a snap of fingers. 

Today was horrible, today would mark the worst day of his life. 

After a solid 10 minutes of crying he hears the shower turn off, so he quickly changes into his pajamas and jumps into bed, making sure to leave Phil enough room as possible, as he finds a comfy position and closes his eyes, Phil walks out. 

He keeps his eyes shut, but he can hear every move that Phil makes. He listens as towels are being dropped and clothes are being put on. He feels the other side of the bed dip and the click of the lamp being shut off. Then there’s the sound of Phil’s phone being unlocked and the horrible noise of constant typing. 

That’s it, this is how Dan’s going to let the night end. 

“Nobody should go to bed angry.” Phil had once said. Hypocrite he is. 

No Dan, you’re better than this. His brain is screaming at him. 

He makes his final decision, he needs this day to turn around. He fucking needs it. 

He turns around, making sure to make it obvious. He gently opens his eyes to see Phil, shirtless, with his head propped up on a pillow. Making Dan slightly lower than him. He's wearing glasses and with the glare from his phone reflecting on his face, he looks beautiful. He stares at Phil for a second, waiting for him to at least look at him. He’d take anything at this point. But there’s nothing. He can already feel the tears fall before he could even react. He looks down, trying to think of anything that isn’t Phil, but to no avail, it doesn’t work and he finds himself crying harder. Instinctively wanting to pull himself in a ball to protect himself he instead grabs onto the collar of his shirt and prays he can stay silent. He can’t let Phil see him this vulnerable. He pulls the duvet over his face so it covers up to his nose so he can sniffle without being too loud.

There’s a pause in Phil’s typing, and Dan can feel his heart skip a beat as he makes sure he’s as still as he can be. Thankfully the typing comes back and Dan tries to put himself together. 

But he can’t, on any other night for whatever reason Phil would be holding him, making sure that whatever was negative in him would be gone, “even if it meant having to crawl into his body and throw it out.” Was something Phil would say on Dan’s particularly bad days. 

He missed Phil so fucking much and it’s only been a day. Then it hits him. This is how it’s going to be now, he’s going to miss him everyday. Phil’s gone. 

That’s all he can think about as he drifts asleep.

\----

“No he doesn’t; there’s no way. Not after today I’m such a fuck up.” Is what Dan blinks his eyes open too. Phil is still in the same position, however his phone is held up to his ear and there’s streams of tears down his face. His other hand is placed lightly over his mouth to keep himself silent.

“He was crying before he fell asleep and I felt so fucking horrible Sarah, you don’t understand. How am I supposed to tell him? He’s going to hate me forever, in fact he’ll hate my for how I have been treating him today.” The conversation continues and Dan feels his heart drop. So he’s leaving? 

Dan shifts slightly out of instinct and he could feel Phil tense as the blue eyes look straight into his.

“I have to go. I’m sorry, bye.” Phil hangs up the phone and breaks eye contact for Dan to look up at the ceiling. “How much did you hear?” He mumbles.

“The-“ Dan croaks and clears his throat. “The part where you called yourself a fuck up.” Dan sits up and leans his back against the headboard, not facing Phil. “Listen Phil… Whatever I had done to you I’m sorry, I would never hurt you intentionally and you’re my everything please just.” He sighs. “Don’t leave, we can try and work this out, I know we can.” Dan could hear Phil shift slightly from where he was sitting.

“You think I’m leaving?” He asks quietly.

“Well I-I- just assumed since you’ve treated me like dirt all day.” 

“Dan do you trust me?’ He asks, and Dan has to turn to look at the boy beside him. Phil was already staring at him.

“Yes Phil. Always have and I always will.” Dan can feel the tears start to well in his eyes. This is it. This is the end.

“Then trust me right now, I am going through something and I want to tell you but not now… Not on tour… It’s just not right for me to say anything now. So for now, I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry for everything that happened today, I would never leave and I promise to make it up to you as much as I can during the rest of this tour. Three more months and we will be home and everything will be alright. Okay Dan? Is that okay?” Phil was crying too by this point.

How could Dan not agree to that?

___

 

For the next three months, Dan was cherished in attention and love by his best friend and he wasn’t complaining, in fact he made sure that he was returning it as much as he was receiving. That night in the hotel had definitely caused some trust issues between them but Dan feels like their energy is back. 

Their shows were getting better and better every night as the tour went on, the chemistry was building and the energy was soaring through the roof. Meeting their audience helped a lot too, seeing the smiles on all of their faces bonded Dan and Phil together as a team. 

The thing Phil was wanting to tell him after the tour was on his mind a lot though, every night he’d have a new conclusion on what the mystery was, but he never guessed the one that was accurate.

It was four months after the night in the hotel that Phil had brought it up, Dan had been waiting of course but was too afraid to bring it up, scared that it was just a ticking bomb counting down the days that Phil would potentially leave.

They were just lounging on the couch catching up on different episodes of tv shows that they had missed during the tour. It was a normal cloudy day in central London that Phil decided to unveil the mystery.

“Dan, I think I should tell you now.”

3

“I mean this seriously so don’t take this as a joke.”

2

“This might end out friendship Dan, I’m sorry if it does.”

1

“I love you Daniel.”

Oh

“Oh.” Is all Dan can say.

“Yeah… I’m sorry.”

“Phil I love you too.”

“No Dan I don’t think you’re picking up what I’m saying right now…” Phil murmurs as he blushes.

“Yes I am Phil, I love you in any way I can possibly contain. I want you to be mine.”

Phil laughs. “I’m the one who supposed to be the one confessing?”

“Sorry but no, I’m the dramatic one, so I love you Phil Lester. Be my boyfriend?”

“I guess.” Phil jokes and Dan goes to hit him, but Phil just grabs his arm and tries to pull him in for a kiss.

Dan then turns away, slumping back into the couch and crosses his arms.

“What?” Phil asks.

“This is why you put me through that night in the hotel isn’t it.”

“I’m sorry. I was being an edgy emo then. Please forgive me?” Phil pouts.

“‘Kiss me to seal the deal then?” Dan uncrosses his arms and opens them up for Phil. Phil happily obliged.


End file.
